Knight and Day (Red)

If you're wondering what (red) means, I'm trying to tell you not to watch this movie. If you need a better explantation click here.

When I go to see a summer action movie with Tom Cruise in it I have certain expectations. One of them is action. The other one is not a bunch of jokes.

And yes I did see the trailer before I saw this movie and yes there are a bunch of jokes in the trailer but I expected a good balance of action and comedy. There was no balance. It was a fantastic disappointment.

This is the structure of this movie.

Each scene started out with some witty banter. They would attempt some jokes, they would try and create some chemistry, the bad guys would come and they would find themselves in an impossible situation from which there is no foreseeable escape. Then Cameran Diaz would get drugged and pass out. The screen would go black and next thing you know they are out of peril and on to the next scene.

Repeat this five or six times and you have the entire movie.

There are two kinds of endings in classically told stories. The protagonist gets the object of desire or they don’t. In summer action movies starring Tom Cruise he always gets what he wants by the end. It’s always a happy ending. We don’t go see these kind of movies cause there is a chance he might fail. We go to see it to see how he does it.

That’s the part of the movie that gets skipped over in Knight and Day.

Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz are surrounded by gunman and there is no possible way for them to escape. Tom randomly druggs Diaz and she passes out. The next scene shows that they some how escaped from the bad guys but we have no idea how. Instead we are left with the thought, “it would have been cool to see how they got out of that impossible situation but I guess I’ll just have to be satisfied with these not-as-clever-as-they-think conversations they are having.”

They are being shot at by an enemy aircraft so they have to run along the beach until they get to the hidden helicopter so they can shoot down the bad guys and run away. Except that Cameron Diaz gets drugged before we can see any of the really cool stuff.

It’s too bad one of the few original stories of the summer is so crappy. There is nothing in this movie worth watching.