Sunday, May 2, 2010

Movie Trailer Crystal Ball



Iron Man 2 Will Be Disappointing


When the first Iron Man movie hit theaters it came out of no where. A second tier comic book character that only comic book guys knew. There were no expectations and the movie had few flaws so it brought in tons of money and everyone (except my roommate who fell asleep while watching it) loved it. It was the best comic book movie of the year. Way better then
The Dark Knight.

Today everyone knows Iron Man and everyone expects
Iron Man 2 to be one of the, if not THE best movie of the year. I had hopes it could live up to expectations but not after watching the trailer.

There are too many new characters.

Not only is there a new villain, Whiplash, there is some new business opponent played by Sam Rockwell, there is some chick in a skin tight leather suit (I have no idea if she is a good girl or a bad girl I just know there is no way she can be comfortable in that outfit), and then there is War Machine.

Yes, Rhodey was in the first movie but now that he’s got his own suit he becomes a significantly more important character.

There is no way there is going to be enough antagonism in this movie to warrant two super hero suits.

There is no way they will have enough satisfying character development with all these major characters.

There is no way Iron Man 2 will live up to the hype.

But I hope I’m wrong.


Robin Hood Will Be Dumb

There are too many movie cliches in the trailer for this to be any good. Plus, Riddly Scott is still using
Gladiator as his bragging movie and it’s time for him to move on. Just because you win one Oscar doesn’t mean you can brag about it in every movie trailer you make for the rest of your life. What do they think that accomplishes?

“Hey, that movie is directed by the guy who directed
Gladiator. That must mean that movie is going to rock. I’m going to lower all of my standards and tweet to everyone that they need to watch this movie immediately.”

I’m not falling for it.


The Best Movie of the Summer

It will be a tie between
Piranha 3D and Step Up 3D.

If only they realized there was a market for watching dancers getting eaten by piranhas. Then we could get two movies in one. Also, one of the dancers could be Kate Gosselin. In fact, they could get her to play all the dancing characters so we can watch her get eaten by piranhas over and over again.

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